


Beyond the Wreckage

by formytroubledmind



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Everyone Needs A Hug, Grief, M/M, Memory Loss, Mentions of the 104th, lol i haven't read since chapter 50+, titan fights etc
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-14
Updated: 2018-08-14
Packaged: 2019-06-27 07:20:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15680667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/formytroubledmind/pseuds/formytroubledmind
Summary: In which humanity’s strongest soldier’s end is not particularly violent—or quick, for that matter. But is doesn’t mean it isn’t brutal, especially for one Eren Jaeger.





	Beyond the Wreckage

The fifty-seventh extramural expedition starts off in the morning, when the sun has yet to break over the walls. The Legion moves swiftly through the quiet streets, the still air punctuated with the brisk clip-clop of horses and the occasional splash as they encounter puddle nestled in the cobblestones.

Eren peers over the edge of his hood, the looming shape of the wall filling his vision as they move in its shadow, trudging through the dim streets. He glances at the Corporal beside him; Levi doesn’t look any more enthusiastic than his fellow soldiers, with his body slumped low and reigns resting limply in his hands. Behind him, Jean shakes his head viciously in an attempt to focus and Connie stifles a yawn. They’d spent the previous night furiously packing for the expedition, checking through logistics lists and cross-referencing maps and memorizing formations. And by the time they’d stumbled into bunks, they’d actually ended up talking instead, because, well, to put it bluntly, anyone of them could die tomorrow.

Hanji seems to be the only one unaffected by the late night, probably because she’s already used to them, or maybe because her coffee quota for the week is thoroughly exhausted. She seems to exude an aura of excitement as she fidgets in her saddle, twirling the reins between her fingertips and rocking in the stirrups.

“I hope I see an aberrant,” she says, leaning over Levi—who she’d long learned didn’t share her enthusiasm—and grinning at Eren. He drops the key he’s been fiddling with, and smiles back nervously.

“Leave the kid alone, shitty glasses. And there’s already one here,” Levi says, tugging her hood over her head in a futile attempt to shut her up.

She seems unaffected. “I’m not _harassing_ you,” she scoffs.

“You’re a pain _in_ the ass,” Levi retorts.

She looks startled, but laughs at him before urging her horse forward to join Erwin. Levi grunts at her back, drawing his own cape up. He slinks further into the soft material, earning a muffled chuckle from Eren, who prompt shuts up following a glare.

It isn’t long before the gates rise, a grinding of chains and the clanging of metal as the solid slabs of stone move upward inch by inch. Light filters in from the gap, and Eren’s grip tightens on the reins, and he leans forward, heart thumping in anticipation as the convoy surges forward, fluid and already spreading into formation.

He’s been outside before, but it still amazes him just how _open_ the whole place is. It’s a world away from the claustrophobic streets and earthy brick of the town, where they’re boxed in by the very things that protect them. The wind ruffles his hair and his cloak flies out behind him as the horses gallop through the fields bathed in pale gold light of the morning.

It’s glorious, if he were to ignore the fact that the flowers waving gently in the wind have probably been nourished by the blood and bone of fallen scouts. But it reminds him why he’s here; to make sure their sacrifice isn’t in vain.

To make sure that they will all be free, and to make sure that, someday, the legion wouldn’t be the only ones who venture outside the walls.

“One day,” he says to himself. “One day.”

* * *

Despite his impulsivity, Eren’s not one for effusiveness - but the weather is gorgeous, the sun warm on his back and gentle breeze ruffling his hair. He urges his horse faster, leaning into the movement, savoring the moment. The endless green blurs past him, fields sprinkled with dots of yellow flowers blooming in late spring.

Levi suddenly appears out of the corner of his eye, reins taut in his hands, lips pursed.

“Keep close,” he says, sharply.

Eren turns to look at him. Levi’s eyes flicker to his face, and for a brief second something – flashes across his face. Worry? Unease? He didn’t know, but that didn’t matter because Levi had surged ahead and the moment was gone.

They ride the whole day without stopping. Erwin wanted to cover as much ground as possible while they still could.

When they finally make camp for the night, Reiner volunteers to take first shift. He’s met with yawning thanks from the other cadets. Armin pulls his sleeping bag closer to Eren and they fall asleep curled near each other for warmth.

Eren wakes up, startled by rough shaking of his shoulders. He pulls away, irritable and growling.

“What do you want?” he mumbles. It’s still dark and the middle of the night. He should be getting more sleep. They all should. He turns over, pulling the material of the sleeping bag closer.

“Eren,” he hears Armin say, voice low and warning.  Serious now. “Listen.”

 “Reiner and Bert aren’t here,” Jean says, slowly. Eren can just make out the figure of the other boy sat in the corner of the tent by the dim lamplight, two-toned hair tousled and shirt rumpled. “No one came to wake me up for my shift.”

Silence hangs in the air between them.

“So?” His words come out impatient. He’s snippy from being shaken awake and he can feel Armin’s gaze on him now, but he presses in more – he can’t really stand the other boy, and he makes it clear. “What’s the big deal?”

Armin sighs, quietly.

Jean hesitates. “I don’t know – don’t you think – it’s weird, right? I mean...” his words trail off.

“I trust Reiner, okay? Shut up and get back to bed, Kirschstein. You need that beauty sleep.”

He sees the muscle in the other boy’s jaw tighten in the flickering lamplight, but Jean doesn’t retort. Instead he leans over and turns off the lamp in a swift motion. Darkness settles over them.

“Rest well, Armin.”

Morning comes swiftly with a flurry of activity, shrugging limbs into the tangle of gear and splashing the sleep from their faces with handfuls of cold spring water.

Mikasa is already waiting for them, her scarf fluttering gently in the breeze. Sasha stands beside her. Her mouth is stuffed with breakfast, but when she sees them she waves excited, then gestures upward.

The sky. Light filters feebly through the heavy clouds. They hang low, an angry, bruised purple and the day is washed in grey light.

“Hey,” Mikasa says, suddenly. Her gaze is fixed on two figures growing bigger as they approach.

Armin must have told her about what happened last night, because when Reiner and Bert come close she steps up to them. Without missing a beat, she looks right up and down Bert’s lanky frame and says, plainly: “Where have you been? We didn’t get the memo about the shift change.”

 She’s the only one who dares confront them. She graduated top of the class, after all.

Bert doesn’t meet her gaze. “Uh…”

“We’d gone to take a piss,” Reiner interjects. “And about last night…” he looks past her, at Eren and Jean, who’ve just emerged from the green folds of the tent. “Sorry man, but didn’t want to wake you all. Couldn’t sleep but you all looked as comfortable as hell. Snug like babies. So we took one for the team.” He smiles easily at them.

 Eren shrugs. “It’s alright.”

Mikasa’s lip twitches – he’s not sure what exactly Armin told her – but she remains silent. 

“If you’d excuse me I’d like to get some breakfast,” Reiner says. He sidesteps Mikasa and motions for Bert to follow. 

When Bert passes the horse it rears up and pulls away, straining at the rope securing it to the post, clearly spooked.

Bert looks uncomfortable. “I’m sorry,” he mumbles to no one in particular and tries to scurry past. Reiner snorts, following him.

“It’s just being silly,” Hanji says. She’s drifting nearby with a steaming mug of coffee clasped in her hands. Levi, sipping a cup of black tea beside her, glares at the two boys’ retreating backs. In a swift motion he’s set his cup down and moved to the reins. The leather is firm in his hands and he steadies the flailing mare. 

* * *

They’re leaning against an outcrop as the others scramble to pack up the camp. Levi’s watching Erwin, coat fluttering around his shoulders as he strides around purposefully, making last minute checks.

There was something he wasn’t telling them, Eren was sure. He’d caught Erwin’s gaze when leader emerged out of the tent after the morning briefing with with key personnel – the adults, the veterans – and the same thing he’d seen on Levi’s face yesterday had flickered across Erwin’s face as well. It was the way his eyes looked at him, and the way his steady confidence wavered, even for just a microsecond. But then Erwin had registered the boy’s gaze and the same impassiveness had returned. His expression was unreadable again. 

“Fucking weather,” Levi says, suddenly. Eren looks over at him, eyes big and searching. Levi catches his gaze and his lip flicks upwards, almost into a wry smile.

“Anyway. Rest well?”

“Uh,” he fumbles, painfully aware of the way his jaw hangs slightly open and his tongue dithers, unsure of where to go, what sound to make. He remembers the incident last night but he isn’t sure if Levi should know. If he needs to, anyway. “I guess, um…”

“Something’s eating you, Jaeger. Spit it out.”

“I don’t know…Reiner and Bert, right? Jean woke me up. They took extra shifts. I don’t know – it probably doesn’t mean anything…” 

The squad leader merely quirks an eyebrow in response.

**Author's Note:**

> very much a wip! but i realise that if i never post this it will hide in my thumbdrive forever. as always - shameless plug for personla blog where there's sometimes flash fiction! (hooray) [https://aquietpining.wordpress.com/](url) and tumblr which i keep for the a e s t h e t i c [aquietpining.tumblr.com](url)
> 
> much love!! - and feel free to talk to me really!! i'm happy to talk about writing/snk/life:-)


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